Late Night Thoughts 

I was stalking some guy on Instagram and somehow ended up on his WordPress.This made me realize a lot of things.

His blog posts were really good. He worded them in such a way anyone would be captivated. You could almost say I fell in love with his word choice. I guess what bothered me was what he blogged about.

He spoke of his unrequited love. Now, I’m not exaggerating when I say this boy is madly in love. He speaks of this girl so fondly but claims she doesn’t know he exists (or maybe isnt aware of his feelings because he also says they’re best friends??) and it just reminded me so much about my own feelings.

The feeling of longing for a love that will never be yours is so familiar to me. It kinda made me sad to read his posts because it almost felt like I was reading my own words. I then realized another thing. I was so sad being madly in love.

At this moment, I’d like to say I don’t like anyone (well, not that way at least) and I am the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s so great not having to wallow in my own sadness and despair at the thought of a love that will be forever unrequited. I’m just happy to be single.

Being single is great. I get to focus on the more important aspects of life. I get to look beyond a boy thats in front of me and look beyond the blindess of love. It feels great.

I guess I just wanted to write this post as soon as possible. Hopefully, someone reads it. 👌

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My Honest Opinion on Rape Culture

I woke up today remembering one class back in high school, I was senior sitting on my seat and we were discussing feminism during the lecture. For some strange reason, the topic of rape decided to come up and our teacher asked us, “Will it ever be a woman’s fault for being raped for what she is wearing?” Our class of course disagreed with this especially since we were part of an all-girls high school and, as women, we knew how wrong rape was. The one thing I’ll never forget is what my teacher said after, “Personally, I think sometimes it is the woman’s fault.” My entire class became quiet as she tried to explain how she was unhappy with what people were wearing nowadays and that maybe that was a reason women were raped. I even recall her bringing up Miley Cyrus’ latest outfit that she wore just few days before then.

Being a student and hearing this from a teacher I really respected, I actually questioned my original opinion. I thought that maybe she was right, what we wear does matter especially in a society where women get raped. For long time, I believed her because she was my teacher.

Now that I am more exposed to this issue, to my teacher back in high school I just want to tell you this:

I think it is never the victim’s fault if they get raped, it is always the rapist. When a woman gets raped for what she is wearing it not because she was unknowingly tempting men to fawn over her gorgeous skin. It is because of a rapists’ mentality.

When a person falls into the temptation of raping someone, he forgets who his victim is. Rapists forget that their victims have family, friends, lovers, a past, a future or even a story. Simply put, they forget that their victims are people too. The moment they rape someone they act as if their victim is an object. To a rapist, a victim is an object for pleasure, a mere plaything that they are free to do anything with. The most selfish mentality a person can have is to believe someone belongs to them. They forget no one can own anyone and that we are all born free. Rapists forget that their victims aren’t just “things” they can get when they want.

I don’t believe that it is what we wear that can get us raped. In actuality, a lot of people who get raped don’t wear “skimpy” clothing or reveal a lot of skin. In fact, a lot of rapes that do occur are by rapists who knew their victim. In countries where women are required to cover up most of their skin, rape still occurs. Even children as young as six or seven or even younger can get raped. How can they be instigating anyone to rape them? Anyone can get raped no matter what they’re wearing or what shape or size or even age they are.

I don’t believe that even if someone was walking around half-naked around the block, he or she was “asking for it.” Rape culture is essentially giving permission to people to rape. It is making light of a serious problem. It allows the dehumanizing of a person. Rape is not only a sexual act but it is also a violent one merely because rapists force themselves on their victims without their consent. Rape culture is blaming the victim instead of the rapist, the doer of the crime. Rape is the worst thing anyone can do to someone, it is also one of the worst things anyone can experience. Why make matters worse by blaming the victim?

I know that maybe some of us grew up in a conservative kind of environment. We were taught that we should show less skin and pile on layers of clothing because it is shameful not to do so. We were taught that if we did show “too much skin” we would get raped. We forget that this is where rape culture stems from; the mere belief that a woman’s actions are the reason she will get raped. Why are we treating the naked body as some kind of sex symbol? That if we see breasts or a large butt it is already a sign that a woman is “asking for it?” We were born without clothes on our back, so why are we sexualizing the naked body?

However, I do understand people who argue that some victims lie about being raped. We shouldn’t be quick to judge who the actual victim of the crime is. At the same time, many people make light of this issue. We have media that almost in a sense glorify rape culture. We have men who catcall girls, making them feel unsafe. We have a people drugging drinks or taking advantage of unconscious people and simultaneously we have people blaming victims for not being careful enough. It’s funny because even in situations where the act of rape is proven, we still blame the victim.

When someone gets raped it is never their fault mainly because rapists have forgotten that victims are people too. Rapists forget that people aren’t objects for pleasure. People who blame the victim forget that they too are sexualizing the naked body and are objectifying victims in the process. We forget that rape is essentially dehumanizing people and forgetting that it is wrong mentality that gets people raped.

            So to my teacher, I understand where you are coming from. I get your point, maybe to some people, we lose respect for wearing the wrong clothes. However, I hope that maybe you understand my point too; that even if we lose respect for what we are wearing, no one deserves to get raped.

Grow

We all have dreams, big or small ones, and every time we have a new dream we plant a new “seed” in our life. This seed can grow into a big beautiful  tree or even small wildflower, nevertheless it is beautiful. The bigger the tree, the bigger the plant and every time you have a new dream, you create a bigger forest.

One important thing to remember is every time you work for a new dream, you keep growing. Even when you’ve reached your goal, you’ll plant new seeds and grow again. Your growth never stops until you die. The important thing to remember is that you will leave a forest of fulfilled dreams when you die.

Never stop allowing yourself to grow. Never stop dreaming and don’t let your seed die out in the cold. Nurture it, work hard and be patient. Growth will not come in a split second but rather it is a long process and the bigger you dream, the harder it is to grow.

 

Interning as a Freshmen

Young as I am, I am fortunate enough to be able to intern in a crime laboratory right after finishing my first year in college. In the Philippines, it isn’t common to intern so early on but in the United States, more people my age intern or volunteer for the experience.

So, what’s my advice to teens? Intern when you can but at the right time. What I mean is, don’t intern too early when you could be enjoying your youth but don’t wait it out till the last minute to try. I think immersing yourself in an work environment really opens your eyes as to what you want to do for the rest of your life. It helps you gauge whether or not something really is for you.

If you intern last minute you might apply for a career choice that is not for you. At the same time, it’s harder to get good quality jobs with little experience. When an opportunity presents itself in front of you, take it. You can procrastinate papers, reports, and even homework but don’t try to procrastinate life.

So far, while interning, I’ve learned to really appreciate people who work, especially those working their dream job. As a forensic intern, I’ve been exposed to cases and bloody evidence and maybe a few years ago I wouldn’t be able to stomach it all but everything really is fascinating. I realize even if the work they make me do is tedious, it’s still fun. I realize I want to graduate faster and start working at places like these.

I also feel very inspired because I’ve been exposed to an environment so different from a classroom setting. I see where some of the lessons I’ve learned in class is applied but I also learn new things, practical things, you aren’t necessarily trained for in university. This internship really has made me grow as a person, making me feel more independent. Also, the amount of stress is significantly less than the amount I felt during class. Everything you do is the application of theory and knowledge which is a lot more fun than sitting for hours listening to your professor.

I think the one thing I appreciate most in my internship is the fact that everyone treats you as an equal. They treat you like one of your own which made me feel like I was part of the team. Though, I’m not saying all internships will feel like this but maybe if you’re lucky enough you can have a similar experience to me.

All in all, my experience has been great so far. Working with professionals motivates you to become one as well. It’s a lot better than sitting in a classroom during a lecture and you learn a lot of practical skills. So for anyone who hasn’t interned yet, I advise you to do so. Always take any opportunity that presents itself.

 

Things I Learned from Travelling (As Brief as Possible)

One thing you must know about travelling is how much of a hassle it is. Another thing you must know about travelling is that the hassle is all worth it.

Through my recent travels I realized how much I loved it. I love exposing myself to new cultures as much as I detest packing. If you travel only to stay in the comforts of your hotel then you haven’t really traveled. Travelling entails walking for hours until your feet hurt because you have walked the entire day appreciating the place you have traveled to. It is to try the food and the customs of the people who live there. It means sight-seeing even if there are no sights to see. To travel is to embrace an alien culture as if it were your own.

You haven’t lived if you haven’t reaped the full benefits of travelling. To travel is to use all senses. You always feel different in a new place. It will look different, feel different and even smell different. With an open mind, I’m sure you will find new treasures travelling brings. If you’re lucky you might even make new friends. Travelling is a means to connect people, to help people understand one another. You can’t know a person until you have worn their shoes. Willingly expose yourself.

If you’re privileged enough, travel. That’s my only advice.

A Little Bit on Love

I once was a fool. I used to believe that love was the meaning of everything. I used to believe that I needed someone in my life to be happy. How foolish I was. When people talk about love they tend to sugarcoat their words. They talk about love like it’s the only thing any person needs but forget to mention that love has other effects.

Love can be full of hurt, pain, betrayal and other things. If love had bad timing then love cannot simply exist. Love is commitment, responsibility and tolerance. During hardships, you tolerate those you love and you cut off those you are infatuated with. It disappoints me to see people brand infatuation as love when it it clearly is not.

I am not saying that love is a bad thing but you don’t need someone in your life to be happy. Love can come in other forms and those can make you happy as well. There is more pain when you’re “in love” with the wrong person at the wrong time and I guess I did not love anyone else enough to have commitment, responsibility or tolerance.

I was wrong to believe that I needed someone to love me to be happy and I forgot to see all those who already do. I have amazing friends and family and their love is all I need right now. My soul mate can wait another day because right now I am happy where I am. I don’t need love because I already have true love. To all those who have tolerated and loved me, I love you.